Breakfast Kegger: Can We Hit the “Simulate” Button on Arkansas State?

AI-generated Brutus Buckeye as Zorro

College football purists can lament the professionalization of the sport. It won’t stop the train that has already left the station and is well down the tracks.

There are many things I’ll miss from the bygone era, but playing bums like Arkansas State as a resume-padder won’t be one of them. At least with teams like Toledo, I understand the urge to keep Ohio State’s money in the state of Ohio.

It’s impossible to get excited about playing Arkansas State. I get paid to watch this game, so I’ll block off four hours of my Saturday and report back what you guys need to know to keep it moving at the company water cooler on Monday. But my god, if you aren’t getting paid or betting on the game, then I have to question your sanity if not your Ohio State fandom.

There will also be a premium episode of High Street Freaks dropping today, so stay tuned to your inbox. We may have said, “You know what? This is going to be a scrimmage, let’s re-litigate the 2018 quarterback derby instead.”

  • THE WALKING WOUNDED SPOTTED AT PRACTICE.

Ryan Day said last night that he wouldn’t risk Jaxon Smith-Njigba to injury unless he is 100 percent ready to play. “Good,” I thought. “It’s clear that Day is still reading the Breakfast Kegger and cares about my opinion, since that’s how I advised him in Tuesday’s edition.

Griff Strom of Eleven Warriors, however, spotted JSN, Julian Fleming and Babb walking to the locker room after practice. All were in full pads while JSN “walked gingerly” and Babb still sported a knee brace.

I don’t think JSN will play on Saturday, so adjust your betting accordingly. Not sure what we will get out of Fleming or Babb, but that’s pretty much been the case their entire careers due to injury. I don’t expect that changing any time soon.

  • MATTHEW JONES REVEALS HE HAD A 102-DEGREE TEMPERATURE BEFORE NOTRE DAME GAME.

The offensive line finished the game with authority against Notre Dame, which goes a long way in absolving the unit’s early sins. The right side of the line looked particularly leaky at points, which was odd considering it had fifth-year senior Matt Jones, one of the best linemen in the country.

Jones’ dip in play vs. our expectations makes a lot more sense this morning after he revealed that he was suffering a 102-temperature the night before the Notre Dame game.

  • RYAN DAY’S CONTRACT SIGNED IN BLOOD.

If an NFL team wants to hire Ryan Day away from Ohio State after this season, it would have to pay twice as much as it would have if they had done so before the season.

Day’s contract is now signed on the dotted line.

From Bill Rabinowitz of dispatch.com [brackets mine]:

Ryan Day’s contract extension to coach the Ohio State football team through the 2028 season has been finalized, the school announced Wednesday.

Day will make an annual salary of $9.5 million after a raise and two-year extension. Day’s compensation was announced by Ohio State in May. His annual salary matches the one Michigan State agreed to pay Mel Tucker late last year. Penn State’s James Franklin also got a hefty raise in an extension worth $7 million annually.

[…]

The contract terms include a buyout clause that would require a team – NFL or college – to pay Ohio State $5 million if it hires Day away from the Buckeyes before Feb. 1, 2023. That figure decreases by $500,000 from Feb. 1, 2023 until Feb. 1, 2024. It declines by $500,000 the following year. The buyout drops to $3 million from Feb. 1, 2025 until Feb. 1, 2026, and declines by $1 million per year the next two years. The buyout is $750,000 for the final year of Day’s contract.

Under his prior contract, Day’s buyout would have been $2.5 million for the current contract year.

Considering Jim Tressel and Urban Meyer were the leading coaches of my lifetime, it’s weird to have a coach that you could envision getting poached by the NFL. Day, after all, is of Northeastern stock. And in the NFL, you don’t have to deal with pesky things like begging teenagers to play for your team.

I’m not saying that Day would leave, just that I could envision it happening. I’ll wait for the results this season before I decide how upset I would be if that came to pass.

  • BUCKEYES STILL BRING THE RATINGS.

Well, we can rest easy, folks. The local team is still a ratings smash hit, especially when they play another traditional power with a national fanbase that the country also hates.

Here are your ratings from Week 1, courtesy of Mitch Metcalf of showbuzzdaily.com:

  1. Notre Dame-Ohio State (ABC): 10.531M
  2. Florida State-LSU (ABC Sun): 7.554M
  3. Oregon-Georgia (ABC): 6.199M
  4. Clemson-Georgia Tech (ESPN Mon): 4.859M
  5. Colorado State-Michigan (ABC): 3.929M
  6. Penn State-Purdue (FOX Thu): 3.512M
  7. West Virginia-Pittsburgh (ESPN Thu): 3.152M
  8. Utah-Florida (ESPN): 2.951M
  9. Cincinnati-Arkansas (ESPN): 2.899M
  10. NC State-East Carolina (ESPN): 2.031M

No big surprises, especially considering the Oregon-Georgia and Clemson-Georgia Tech games weren’t fascinating in the second half.

Ratings don’t mean anything for everyday fans like us, except for more commercials doing games. However, I enjoy Ohio State’s hold on TV because it gives us significant leverage at the bargaining table with broadcast companies. And that stuff matters more than national championships, as sad as that is to say.

  • BRIAN KELLY: STILL AN ASSHOLE.

Brian Kelly is 0-1 at LSU. His Southern accent has disappeared. But it’s good to see that LSU media isn’t in his thrall and won’t tolerate his quips about them being late.

Urban Meyer wouldn’t have assaulted a reporter for a comment like that. He would have tried to bore holes into his chest with non-existent laser beams before pulling the offending outlet’s credentials.

LSU media doesn’t know how good they have it!

THOSE WMDs. The five best men’s boxer briefs… The super-rich “preppers” preparing to save themselves during armageddon… Hot dogs or haute dogs, you decide… Police arrest county official as a suspect in reporter’s death… When did Americans lose their British accents?