“Damn, homie, in high school you was the man, homie—the fuck happened to you?” — 50 Cent in “Wanksta”
Make no mistake, Michigan State was never “the man.” They don’t even hold that title in the backwater outpost they call a state. But there was a time, as short as it was, that rumbling with a confederation of juggalos did strike a certain amount of terror into the heart.
Sure, there was 1998, but I too busy playing James Bond GoldenEye on Nintendo 64 to bare any emotional scars over that one. John Cooper probably thanks his stars every day that he didn’t coach when social media existed. We would have run that bum out of town in half the time.
And yeah, they sucked punched us in 2015. That Ohio kicker cranking that Soldier Boi on his way out of the Horseshoe gets even more infuriating as time goes on.
The rest of the time, however, it’s been as easy as running the pockets of a wan child at the neighborhood bus stop. Now it looks like, after Mark Dantonio left in a cloud of sexual assaults, Sparty has gone and paid $95 million to a con artist while fighting in court to keep secret how they fund that public employee’s salary.
I understand the play they made. And a tilt of the cap for actually rolling the dice. But this is why so much college football coaching is a never-ending recycle of last night’s microwave dinner… the dice don’t always tumble in the direction you want.
I actually think the Spartans will cover today, but that’s also a prediction that Ohio State could prove foolish in the first half of the first quarter. There are always bound to be kinks in the first road game of the season, and I think the Spartans earn a backdoor cover late in a game that wasn’t as close as the score would make you think at first glance.
Here is your Top 25 slate for today; pretty funny that Oklahoma and Texas are both unranked this early in the season.
| TIME | GAME | NETWORK |
| 12:00 | #4 MICHIGAN (-22.5) at INDIANA | FOX |
| 12:00 | #8 TENNESSEE (-3) at #25 LSU | ESPN |
| 12:00 | #17 TCU (-7) vs. #19 KANSAS | FS1 |
| 12:00 | ARKANSAS at #23 MISS. STATE (-9.5) | SECN |
| 2:30 | SOUTH FLORIDA at #24 CINCINNATI (-27.5) | ESPN+ |
| 3:30 | AUBURN at #2 GEORGIA (-30) | CBS |
| 3:30 | TEXAS TECH at #7 OKLAHOMA STATE (-9.5) | FS1 |
| 3:30 | #11 UTAH (-3.5) at #18 UCLA | FOX |
| 4:00 | #3 OHIO STATE (-27) at MICHIGAN STATE | ABC |
| 4:00 | #9 OLE MISS (-17) vs. VANDERBILT | SECN |
| 4:00 | #21 WASHINGTON (-14) at ARIZONA STATE | PAC12 |
| 7:30 | #5 CLEMSON (-20.5) at BOSTON COLLEGE | ABC |
| 7:30 | WASHINGTON STATE at #6 USC (-13) | FOX |
| 7:30 | SOUTH CAROLINA at #13 KENTUCKY (-10) | SECN |
| 7:30 | ARMY at #15 WAKE FOREST (-17) | ESPN3 |
| 7:30 | #16 BYU at NOTRE DAME (-3.5) | PEACOCK |
| 7:30 | #20 KANSAS STATE (-2) at IOWA STATE | ESPNU |
| 8:00 | TEXAS A&M at #1 ALABAMA (-24) | CBS |
| 8:00 | FLORIDA STATE at #14 NC STATE (-3) | ACCN |
| 9:00 | #12 OREGON (-13) at ARIZONA | PAC12 |
Lines I like off vibes alone: UCLA (+3.5), LSU (+3), and Alabama (-24).
Also of note, Kevin, the criminal known as B1G_Ryan, a rotating cast of mystery guests, and I will be watching the Ohio State game on our Playback stream. If you have a cable subscription, come watch us kick Sparty down a well.
As always, the Sewer Crew will be hanging out in the forums throughout the day as well.
THOSE WMDs. The haunting of a dream house… Christian Bale keeps trying to quit Hollywood… Inside Bang Energy’s reeling empire… How the McRib, Pumpkin Spice Latte, and other food obsessions came to be… Five things that happen to your body when you don’t get enough sleep.