Blue’s News: Broadcasting Live From Hell

In today’s free Blue’s News, we unpack last Saturday’s chaotic broadcast booth, give first impressions of the women’s hoops schedule and attempt to use TikTok.

ASSESSING A LITERAL MICKEY MOUSE BROADCAST

Let me start by saying I could never be an in-game analyst. I don’t know if I have the gregarious personality and razor-sharp retorts for a live broadcast. It takes a very specific type of person to excel at game presentation.

I am also not employed by the Worldwide Leader in Sports, which, one assumes, would be a touch better at broadcasting a game than they were on Saturday afternoon.

Robert Griffin III’s booth debut alongside Mark Jones on Saturday was the fourth most-viewed game of week one. It was certainly, uh, something

There were great moments, like Griffin clarifying Jim Harbaugh’s “biblical” quarterback battle comments after he texted his former coach/Harbaugh’s brother, John (it was a reference to Ecclesiastes, not the parable about cutting a baby in half). However, that attention to detail didn’t translate to other areas of the broadcast, from Griffin’s and Jones’ odd commentary to the presentation of the game itself. 

Consider this a bonus game film breakdown for all of you.

From a production perspective, it felt like the crew didn’t prep for the football in front of them, leaning on Griffin’s stardom to carry the day. Instead of showing a replay of actual game footage, we got a replay of Griffin… ascending the stairs of the Big House. We also saw him attempt to bench press 335 pounds with defensive tackle Mazi Smith, and heard a lot about his vertical jump – instead of Mason Graham’s “sack,” according to Jones… on a run play. 

Other moments ranging from odd, to inaccurate, to downright cringe included:

  • The story about Muhammad Ali hitting on Jay Norvell’s mom
  • An ahistorical retelling of George Jewett’s time at Michigan and Northwestern – Jewett was not denied entry to the medical school, but transferred after Michigan’s med school faculty felt football was too dangerous for someone of his intelligence
  • The urban legend of the West Engineering arch, to which Griffin responded by, uh, ogling at female college students like he’s Master Roshi

The most seriously disappointing part of the broadcast was the crew’s discussion of Michigan GA Milan Bolden-Morris, the first female graduate assistant at a Power Five program. Of all the tangents I could have wanted from Jones and Griffin, I would have loved more talk on Morris and her time as a graduate assistant.

Instead, we got Griffin stating he was impressed by Morris’ “intensity,” and “killer smile,” as if those things alone suggest she knows football. Give her her roses while she’s on screen.


I really don’t want to sound like a whiny woman buzzkill – college football is an absurd sport we sometimes take too seriously. I also want broadcasters with personality, and appreciate the more entertaining approach to calling a guaranteed blowout.

Here, though, there were production choices that jumped the shark from lighthearted to a space where we nervous-laughed at Jones and Griffin, rather than with them. And, every now and then, it would have been nice to take a break from undying praise of Griffin to hear more about, you know, the actual game.

While you’d think Jones would be less prone to gaffes like these, I really am hoping for the best for Griffin’s media career. He carries a sense of wonder and exuberance in even his cringiest commentary. You can tell he loves the game. That charisma masked some of the stranger things he said – I actually laughed at how much he tried to restrain himself from the “Orji in the endzone” joke, only to make the joke anyway. 

One hopes there were notes this broadcast team takes to heart for the rest of the season. Otherwise, we might have a full season’s worth of secondhand embarrassment highlights from this crew.

STILL A BASKETBALL SCHOOL (TENTATIVELY)

The 2022-23 women’s basketball schedule dropped yesterday afternoon. The Elite Eight finalists will set out to replicate last season’s successes and then some, but not without challenges here and there.

Since I’m not an adept basketball-knower, I’ve tagged in Ace to provide initial impressions of the schedule.

Tournaments/Invitationals: Michigan shouldn’t lose the Big Ten/ACC Challenge match against Miami (Fla.), and the Gulf Coast Showcase provides a potential marquee matchup against Baylor. The Jumpman Invitational is essentially an away game – they play UNC in Charlotte – though Michigan still may have an advantage.

The rest of the non-con: Most of the non-conference schedule should be easy pickings for the Wolverines. That said, Toledo could prove tricky; it went 19-1 in the MAC last year before getting upset in the conference tournament. Fairfield could also put up a fight, having made its fifth-ever NCAA Tournament appearance last season.

Big Ten play: The conference schedule is tough. The good news, though slight, is that the squad will see Iowa at home. As for the bad news? Michigan faces a tough set of double-plays, two difficult midweek road games after challenging home games – going from the Iowa home game to Purdue, and from an Indiana home matchup to Maryland. 


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FROM THE MAIZE AND BLUE THINKING CHAIR…
  • McAfee joins College GameDay full-time. The multi-year deal likely signals the final chapter for Lee Corso, though that’s just Internet speculation. It’s cool and all, but I’ll probably still run errands before Noon games regardless.
  • The Dublin Dad weighs in. Since we’re all apparently pretending his disastrous semi-season with the Jacksonville Jaguars never happened, Urban Meyer provided his thoughts on the Michigan quarterback situation. 
  • Okay, sure. Brian Ferentz either has no idea what he’s doing, or he’s a quiet quitting icon. If it’s the latter, you go, bud! Keep doing the least. 
  • Okay, sure (again). Michigan extended an offer to Ronnie Bell’s younger brother Kendrick, a senior quarterback with the potential to play other positions. One assumes Harbaugh and Co. see something the rest of us don’t, as Bell is one of very few two-star recruits.
MICHIGAN-ADJACENT (TIKTOKS) OF THE DAY

The College GameDay Instagram account posted a video from Michigan gymnast Frederick Richard’s TikTok, in which he attempts to flip his way into a pair of shorts.

@frederickflips on TikTok

This led me down a rabbit hole, because Richard originally posted this video on Aug. 27. After posting the original video, he attempted to flip into a shirt.

These are all GIFs because our site is an elder millennial who can’t embed TikToks correctly.

He recently tried the feat again, this time with a different shirt and cutoff sleeves. After some engineering, he nailed it.

Dudes rock.