There’s no week of the year filled with more optimism than week one of the college football season. Any fan, no matter how dreadful their program of choice, can dream of grandeur. This is the year we win it all. This is the year we beat those fuckers from over there and win a conference title. This is the year we throw the football to the tight end. This is the year my children drop the fatwa issued against me for things I may or may not have said about the president of the United States of Amer…