The rumors are true: I missed a Breakfast Kegger deadline. In my alcoholic days, I would have simply chalked it up to the game. But these days, I’m simply rebranding my failures as my next entrepreneurial success.
Welcome to The Brunch Kegger. It’s Free Thursday, and I’d be honored if you considered a subscription to our humble college football venture in the notorious fruitful time of late February:
- REMEMBER WHAT HE TOOK FROM YOU!
FanDuel, the gambling cartel that seems to have best positioned itself after the initial onslaught of legalized sports gambling in the state.
From Colin Gay of dispatch.com:
While Ohio State football’s spring practices have not started, FanDuel Sportsbook already has its betting line out for the Buckeyes’ annual bout against rival Michigan.
After two-straight losses to the Wolverines in 2021 and 2022, Ohio State is listed as a one-point underdog in “The Game” Nov. 25 in Ann Arbor.
This, sadly, is yet another thing that New Hampshireite Ryan Day has taken from us.
We’re now at the point where we can’t even talk shit about being favored by Vegas gremlins six months before the season starts.
The worst part is… Michigan (-1) in Ann Arbor feels like easy money to this diehard Ohio State fan.
I’m sure that will change once the season starts. I cheered for the Browns all those years, and that was akin to surviving on beans on a bomb shelter for a decade after a nuclear disaster.
This is different in that it feels like getting dragged naked through a parking lot of broken glass. I can at least take solace knowing that Day (and maybe Gene Smith!) won’t survive a three-game losing streak to Michigan, unless they somehow back into the playoffs again and actually win the title for once.
- MARVELOUS MARV, ALREADY DAY’S BEST?
Is Marvin Harrison Jr. already the best wide receiver of the Day era? Well, more and more are saying it.
From Nathan Baird of cleveland.com:
COLUMBUS, Ohio — As Ohio State football’s recruiting and development of receivers keeps topping itself, will one player emerge as the gold standard?
On Buckeye Talk last week we drafted three 11-man offenses from Ryan Day’s tenure as head coach. The one caveat was the each of us also had to draft one player apiece from the Jim Tressel and Urban Meyer eras.
Arguably, no position from the Day era offered as much depth as receiver. Garrett Wilson was recently named the NFL’s Offensive Rookie of the Year. Chris Olave finished fourth in the same voting, with both topping 1,000 yards as rookies.
I don’t think there’s any argument about the WR being Day’s best position, which speaks to how good Harrison Jr. has been.
What’s really funny is there are a bunch of future middle managers in Big Ten country that are currently preparing for a season of getting torched by that guy. Oh well. Not my problem.
- CHOKING A TEEN WILL DEFINITELY LAND YOU IN HOT WATER
From Brian Linder of cleveland.com:
Folks, don’t you hate when you wake up one day and find yourself in hot water for assaulting your teenage son’s boyfriend?
Former Ohio State and longtime NFL offensive lineman Joe Staysniak is in hot water after he was reportedly involved in a domestic incident Tuesday in which police say he assaulted his son and choked his son’s boyfriend.
Per reports, the 6-foot-5 Staysniak was arrested early Tuesday morning on charges related to strangulation and battery.
I am sure Ohio State fans of a certain age would kill me for saying this, but I’ve never heard of this Joe Staysniak guy! Don’t remember him at all, which means he’s definitely too old to be fighting teenagers. That’s loser behavior, brother!
THOSE WMDs. It’s happening again: Industrial toxicity without industrial employment… Why fabric fraud is easy to hide… What attachment styles can — and can’t — explain… Why are we so bad at recognizing that air pollution kills?