Good morning to my freeloaders and patrons, alike.
Yesterday, I reminded myself of that time Ohio State cut Penn State’s heart out and ate it in front of 107,000 people and a national television audience.
College football fucking rules.
- THIS FEELS QUITE LONELY
Generally speaking, I’m a huge fan of charts that tell me my favorite football team is better than any other football team. And folks, this is a very, very good chart.
For those of you who struggle with chart comprehension or are in third grade, this delightful little data display shows that Ohio State has the most efficient offense in the country and the nation’s second-most efficient defense (I see you, Marshall). Put that together, and the Buckeyes are the most efficient team in the country, and it ain’t all that close.
More than that, it’s looking like Michigan and Illinois(!!!) are two of the three worthy challengers this season, with Georgia being the third. If Ohio State’s gonna win a title this year, the Bucks probably going to have to go through all three, which means they’re going to earn it.
- SLIGHTLY LESS GIGANTIC, STILL VERY GOOD
I’ve always been a big fan of Dawand Jones while also acknowledging that his biggest asset (his WWE-like size) was also his biggest liability. But a very cool happened this offseason: he lost approximately 5% of his body weight and got quite a bit more than 5% better in pass protection.
From Joey Kaufman of The Columbus Dispatch:
“Once they get a little taste and see the success and bear a little fruit, that’s huge for those guys,” Frye said. “If I can move a little better 10 pounds lighter, I’m going to do that.”
If Jones moves quicker, it is most likely to help in pass protection, where he’ll need to block and cut off quick edge rushers.
“In pass pro, your feet go with you,” Jones said.
Not only is he moving quicker, at a lighter weight, his backpedal is easier, putting less stress on his feet.
“I think that’s the best part, honestly,” he said.
Frankly, it’s just wild to me that a 6-foot-9, 350-pound human being is athletic enough to even consider playing Division I football. With his newfound dexterity, my guy is approaching superhuman levels of freaky.
- RUN THE DAMN BALL (BETTER)
It’s tough to talk about “concerning” aspects of an offense that just shit out 47 points on the top defense in college football. But as an unhealthily paranoid Buckeye fan like all of you, I was at least a little rattled by that ground attack on Saturday afternoon.
From Dan Hope of Eleven Warriors:
Statistically speaking, Saturday’s effort in the run game was Ohio State’s second-worst since 2011 by multiple metrics. With 66 yards on 30 carries (2.2 yards per carry), only last year’s Michigan matchup saw the Buckeyes finish with fewer rushing yards and average yards per attempt in any game over the past decade.
TreVeyon Henderson and Miyan Williams, who combined for 57 yards on 21 attempts on Saturday, finished with the lowest single-game yards per carry average of their college careers. Henderson had three carries for negative yardage on the day, and Williams had three of his own that either went for zero yards or a loss.
My take: Iowa absolutely loaded the box defensively after not really showing that look consistently the entire season, and the Buckeyes got a little bamboozled by it. No harm done, just do better next time.
The silver lining in all of this is that even though the running game had one of its worst performances in over a decade and yet the offense still put up 47 points. I’ll choose to be happy about that instead of mad.
- THIS GAME ISN’T AS CLOSE AS YOU THINK IT IS
For some reason, a lot of Ohio State fans love to talk about Penn State as if they’re the only *real* competition the Buckeyes face in the Big Ten, saying shit like “they always play us tough!” or “it’s always a close game!”
It’s to the point that the majority of Penn State fans I know personally assume that I actually respect and fear their team because after all, nobody else threatens the Buckeyes like the Nittany Lions.
The thing is, that narrative would be a whole lot less bullshit if Penn State hadn’t lost nine of the last 10 games to Ohio State, six of which came by double digits.
I mean, look at this graphic and tell me that Penn State is remotely threatening to Ohio State.
Penn State has beaten Ohio State exactly one (1) time in the past decade, and it only happened because Urban Meyer hurried his field goal unit onto the field instead of taking a timeout. And the best part is, that game didn’t even matter because it was such an anomaly that the committee still put Ohio State in the playoff over Penn State anyway.
Then you’ve got those two one-point wins in 2017 and 2018 which some weirdly tout as “we almost got you!” moral victories as if blowing double-digit leads late in the fourth quarter in consecutive years is a legitimate argument for why your team is good.
And since then, it’s been three consecutive double-digit wins in games that were frankly more lopsided than the final score.
The idea that Penn State has been in any way threatening to Ohio State over the past 10 years is nothing but a myth propagated by the television networks trying to sell you an interesting game. They’re going to try to do it again this week; don’t let them.
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