Breakfast Kegger: Only Bums Complain About NIL

Brutus Buckeye hitting a jackpot in a casino

Welcome to Free Thursday at the Breakfast Kegger. It’s a great month to join the chaos that is the most sinister site in college football.

Please note there is a $1,000 tax for every Michigan fan that joins. The funds go directly into my pocket for whatever the next pervert bike purchase I have on my mind.

  • COMPLAINING ABOUT NIL IS LIKE COMPLAINING ABOUT THE REFS: YOU ONLY HEAR IT FROM LOSERS

Ohio State lost the commitment of Florida four-star running back Mark Fletcher on Wednesday night. He had initially committed back in April and was the only running back in the class.

The Miami Hurricanes and Florida Gators are in hot pursuit with NIL money that the Buckeyes wouldn’t match.

Somehow I think Ohio State will survive without a top-300 running back whose heart wasn’t in the commitment anyway.

Unfortunately, our fan base is big enough that some people want to whine about NIL. First of all, you sound ridiculous. But I saw a reporter I respect last night say how this could lead to coaches leaving the sport.

It’s not like these guys are coaching neighborhood kids out of the kindness of their heart. They’re well compensated for their time. Where are they going to go? The NFL? They might want to research Urban Meyer’s Jacksonville tenure in that regard.

NIL isn’t perfect. But Ohio State isn’t the only one playing under these rules. If Ohio State is losing recruits to inferior programs over NIL money, then the blame falls squarely on our paypigs for not opening their wallets wide enough.

Either adapt or die. Isn’t that what coaches are always telling their players? Weird how it only changes when players start earning some leverage over their working conditions.

  • CLAY TRAVIS JEALOUS OF EDDIE GEORGE?

I don’t even like mentioning Clay Travis because it only gives him more oxygen. I’ll make an exception for this hot gossip from 2015 that I only saw last night thanks to Twitter.

We all know Travis’ grudge against Ohio State. It would certainly make a lot of sense is the grudge started with jealousy of the legendary Eddie George:

Who knew that rich guys with big dicks loved to give lessons on other rich guys with big dicks? Probably should have seen that part coming.

Obviously I don’t know the truth of the situation, but this screed gives me, “Please don’t write in your newspaper that I got mad” vibes. I’m scoring this one in favor of Eddie. I’m not sure the Grand Canyon could accommodate the gap between those two men.

  • THE DANGERS OF THE DESPERATE MAN

The desperate man is a common trope in sports. It’s a visual I’ve used a lot even if most people don’t envision a scenario where they’re forced to fight a transient to death in a back alley over some petty squabble.

Maryland coach Mike Locklsey is right in that his Terrapins are desperate after a bright start to their season.

From Wesley Brown of 247sports.com:

Mike Locksley noted Tuesday that “there’s nothing more dangerous than a desperate man that has nothing to lose,” and his players feel that message heading into the matchup with the undefeated Ohio State Buckeyes this weekend.

Here’s the thing about the dangerous man: Yes, he has nothing to lose. But he has nothing to gain, either. He is not fighting for any other reason than the primitive response in his brain.

If Ohio State can punch that desperate man in the face off the rip on Saturday, then he should fold like origami. That would make for a smooth descent into the actual game we fans are thinking about this week.

THOSE WMDs. Why you should (almost) always make the first offer… All your passwords live somewhere on your computer… Learn to drive a stick with this one easy trick… Sam Bankman-Fried tries to explain himself… Ohio newspaper editor hit with bogus “wiretapping” charge.