I wrote in Saturday’s Breakfast Kegger that I had decided to gaslight myself into thinking Ryan Day would go “Joker Mode” in the Peach Bowl.
In the end, I got Lieutenant Dan’d:
We all got Lieutenant Dan’d.
I am not a fan who cries whenever another fan has a negative opinion about the team. The humble agricultural school’s football program is comprised of men who sought high-stakes positions. If there are no complaints about the praise, there can be no complaints about criticism (that isn’t social media harassment, etc).
If any player can’t handle bucknutter42829 calling their shitty performance a shitty performance in a tweet they specially searched their name to find, they aren’t cut for life in the arena. Don’t worry, there are plenty of seats for him in the bleachers with the rest of us who arrived at that same decision.
But when it comes to game day, I’m not putting negative energy about my team into the air until the game is decided in stone. At which point, I’m going to do more than say, “Good effort, team!” if the storyline is another 14-point collapse in the fourth quarter of a playoff game.
Ryan Day deserves to be fired for the last two years alone. He won’t be, though maybe he could take an NFL job (that could be my copium high talking; I’m sorry).
The question becomes how Day will respond to the latest calamity on a national stage. Sure, there is a litany of excuses. But the buck stops with him. End of the line. If you don’t agree with that, you probably won’t enjoy the rest of the article. I’m sorry about that. Please go enjoy the rest of your day.
To the brave militia patriots standing tall on this Defeat Monday, we did our part. The players, by and large, did their duties, too. C.J. Stroud responded to all his critics (including this one) with a performance that, despite everything, would have won the game if his head coach didn’t turtle with two timeouts, 30 seconds left on the clock and settle for a 50-yard field goal.
The decision got what it deserved—no offense to Noah Ruggles. Lord knows I would have melted in the exact same fashion. He will remember that for the rest of his life just like the rest of us, and he has nothing to be ashamed about. His coaches set him up to fail, which is actually the opposite of what a coach is supposed to do if you think about it.
Ohio State’s two botched fake punts would have altered the last two games. They botched those punts despite having a full-time special teams coach who also has the added benefit of also being a dead weight on the recruiting trail.
From Buckeye militia four-star general Frank Bumb, whom you should follow on Twitter:
Exiling Fleming to a gulag outside Pataskala for 30 years splitting rocks is the bare minimum that Day can do this offseason. His key should not work when he arrives for work at the Woody Hayes Athletic Center. I guess the other assistant coaches will have to fetch their own coffee and donuts.
The other major problem is the Vegan Grandpa. Remember when he guffawed at Ryan Day’s comments about demanding a Top-10 defense? A top-five defense, was it? Talking that shit, making that kind of money, and delivering the same calamitous results is a fireable offense.
What good is a top-five defense if it reverts to Kerry Coombs Brain on the game’s biggest stages? The Buckeyes won 10 games with him in 2021, too!
Of course, there’s no guarantee Day will replace any firing with a competent hire. We’ve had this guy in our life to know his flaws, and after he spent weeks promising to pull no punches, we’re in the exact same position as last year.
Worse, even, since now Michigan has won two years in a row, which seemed impossible before Day took the reins.
I don’t know how to explain to normie Ohio State fans why none of this should be acceptable. The game is over, and Day made sure to remind us before the season that he knew 10-2 at Ohio State without a win over Michigan is unacceptable.
These are the stakes, and these are the consequences. It’s not my problem if other people want to accept second-tier results. I was told that Ohio State was one of the premier blueblood programs in the country. I’m sorry if I got that confused.
These are battles that must be waged for the sake of the program. But until then, we can at least rejoice in one common refrain: “At least Michigan lost.”
Today’s Breakfast Kegger is free for all in search of therapy in defeat.
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